I Love You Man: Non-verbal Communication Methods for Males

I AM A 21 YEAR-OLD MAN WHO IS THE SON AND BROTHER OF MEN. I LIVE IN A HOUSE WITH 19 OTHER DUDES. I’M IN A FRATERNITY OF 90 HOOLIGANS. I HAVE FRIENDS THAT SPAN FROM NEW YORK TO SAN FRANCSICO WHO ARE MALES. THESE ARE ALL WONDERFUL PEOPLE, BUT WE ALL FALL SHORT IN ONE CATEGORY.

Some might not believe it, but communication is tough for me. I hate the idea of overexplaining myself, making people feel responsible for my own feelings, or not being ‘man enough’ to deal with tragedy and heartbreak on my own. These notions, and this is true for the majority of men, get bottled up only to be diluted by alcohol, media, and other forms of destructive distractions. 

I have noticed, however, through my own experiences that some males are able to communicate feelings of love, gratitude, and empathy in different, more powerful ways than speech. Below I am going to break down a couple of these examples that will hopefully help men demonstrate their admiration, awareness, and love for one another. In other words, saying “I love you man” without saying it.

Food:

Dudes love food and are always hungry. If it’s a close friend you probably know their orders at your go-to spots. Next time you go to one of these spots by yourself, maybe think about spending an extra $10 dollars on your buddy’s order. Getting your friend their food order shows:

  1. You care about them eating well (or at least ‘fast-food well’)

  2. You know their order and are aware that these are the ingredients that make them happiest 

  3. This eatery is a testament to your friendship (“i love you man– enough to spend extra on guac for your bowl”)

Ask Questions:

When your male friends are raving about the work they are doing, or the new hobby they’ve picked up make sure you stay interested. Even if you don’t love what they’re doing, you do love things that make your friends happy, right? Don’t be afraid to ask a million questions in order to prove to your friend that you are interested in what makes them whole. This is a great expression of interest and adoration for the pursuits of other males.

Physical Touch:

Alright alright…slow your roll. This is one of the biggest irks for the toxic masculine community, so I’m not gonna say that hugging your best friends all the time is the best route to take. There are, however, a few meaningful ways to express yourself through touch without it being awkward.

  1. THE DAP: We all know it, we all love it. Create a solid connection with another male by properly dapping each other up and embracing the other person.

  2. THE FISTBUMP: My personal favorite. Solidify a conversation or bring up the mood of another male by bumping fists– So tough, so strong.

  3. POTS (Pat on the Shoulder): This can be done in passing or on approach to let the other male know that you are there for them.

  4. THE HUG: I hug all of my friends when I’m leaving for a long time, or return from an adventure— It’s alright my dude, bring it in. 

Help Out:

Noticing when trivial tasks, like cleaning or rearranging, are being done by your friends around the house can be a great time to show that you care about them because it proves:

  1. You are aware of the goals that they want to achieve 

  2. You appreciate the work they’re doing, so much that you are willing to do the work with them

  3. A non-verbal affirmation of your friendship 

Just Be:

If there’s one thing that dudes are good at it would be doing nothing with one another. How many times do you find yourself sitting around and bantering with your friends? This is one of the easiest ways of communication for males. Don’t be afraid to sit around and do nothing but uplift your mood as well as the mood of the other males in the room. It’s alright to ‘just be’ in those situations, dudes appreciate the company whether they express it or not.

I challenge you to try and work at becoming a comprehensive male. Be courageous and compassionate. Be strong but sensitive. Let people in, and go out of your way to improve the lives of those you care for in this world.

****These are my own thoughts and opinions. None of which are meant to be disrespectful or inappropriate to any parties****

****These are several of the many ways for males to communicate with one another. There are no perfectly effective means of communication. By no means am I an expert in this field, nor do I claim that my opinions are more valid than others****

Brian Guimond